Today's Decomp: 70's R & B Cheatin' Songs

Somewhere in the 70's, there was a popular movement in R & B toward the "cheatin' on my baby" song. I think this crossed over into country music, too, but somehow, R & B made it sound so good, you ALMOST felt bad for the perpetrators. Still, as a young black girl, I can still remember listening to these songs and thinking "Shouldn't that man be at home saying sorry to his wife before she kicks him in his thine line or MR. Jones shows up???" In fact, my mom and I had this kind of conversation once before, too. I asked her what would happen if Dad did one of those "Me & Mrs. Jones" things. Her reply has probably been the guiding force behind her 39 years of marriage and my own 9:

"I trust and love your father enough to know he would never do that to me. (long quiet pause) He loves life and living it FAR too much."

Anyway, I was going to do the song Kiss & Say Goodbye, but then I remembered (If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don't Wanna Be Right, Me & Mrs. Jones and the best retaliation song, Thin Line Between Love And Hate. I'm gonna decompose these songs one a few lines at a time so you get the full effect of this delightful romp through hypocrisy (my comments are in italics).

Kiss And Say Goodbye (If you want to hear this tune, you can listen and read the lyrics here: http://www.minibite.com/heartache/kissandsay.htm)

This has got to be the saddest day of my life (probably shoulda thought of this BEFORE your wedding, huh?)
I called you here today for a bit of bad news
I won't be able to see you anymore
Because of my obligations, and the ties that you have (She's NOT your obligation, she's your WIFE, cheater pants!)
We've been meeting here everyday
And since this is our last day together
I wanna hold you just one more time (yeah, great way to sever the ties, here!)
When you turn and walk away, don't look back (exactly! No looking back, let's move forward to fidelity and several years of marital therapy, shall we?)
I wanna remember you just like this (as a cheating !@#$)
Let's just kiss and say goodbye

I had to meet you here today
There's just so many things to say
Please don't stop me 'til I'm through
This is something I hate to do (there's so much wrong this with, I don't even know where to START. You hate LEAVING the woman you're cheating with to go back to the woman who you promised to love, honor and cherish until death? I really have to call into question this man's decision making skills....!)
We've been meeting here so long
I guess what we've done, oh was wrong (you GUESS??? Oh, man...I wanna be the one who hands your wife the hot grits!)
Please darlin', don't you cry
Let's just kiss and say goodbye (Goodbye!)

Many months have passed us by
(I'm gonna miss you)
I'm gonna miss you, I can't lie
(I'm gonna miss you) (And it just goes on from THERE like this...hate leaving the woman I'm cheatin' with, guess I better haul it back on home to the wife (deep sigh))

Okay for those of you either living under a rock, or born after the decline of the cassette tape and vinyl album, I'll give you the most important lines from another cheatin' standard:

Me & Mrs. Jones (the title "Mrs." should be a big tip-off right here!)

(Chorus) Me and Mrs.Jones
We got a thing goin' on
We both know that it's wrong
But it's much too strong
To let it go now

We meet every day at the same cafe
Six-thirty and no one knows she'll be there
Holding hands, making all kinds of plans
While the juke box plays our favorite songs

(Chorus)

We gotta be extra careful
That do we don't build our hopes up too high
Because she's got her own obligations
And so, and so, do I

(Chorus)

Well, it's time for us to be leaving
It hurts so much, it hurts so much inside
Now she'll go her way and I'll go mine
Tomorrow we'll meet
The same place, the same time

(Chorus)

Okay does NO ONE see how shag nastily WRONG this is??? IT'S CHEATING ON YOUR SPOUSE, for cryin' out loud! And these two aren't even gonna STOP! They're meeting at the same place and time tomorrow! And honestly, who DOESN'T sing along with this one? Oh, MAN, can music twist your around its little finger (otherwise, why ELSE would any woman find Tommy Lee, Slash, Lionel Ritchie or Seal attractive?)!

And this last one this one is TRULY bad...this guy doesn't even CARE that he's ruining this girl's life and reputation, just wants desperately to do the WRONG thing:


(If Loving You is Wrong) I Don't Want To Be Right

If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right
If being right means being without you
I'd rather live a wrong doing life (hmmm...who can this be...SATAN???)
Your mama and daddy say it's a shame
It's a downright disgrace (well, only because it IS!!)
Long as I got you by my side
I don't care what your people say (selfish son of a !@#$)

Your friends tell you there's no future
in loving a married man (FINALLY, some friends leading someone in the RIGHT direction!)
If I can't see you when I want to
I'll see you when I can
If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right
If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right

Am I wrong to fall so deeply in love with you (yes!!!)
knowing I got a wife and two little children
depending on me too
And am I wrong to hunger
for the gentleness of your touch (YES!)
knowing I got three people at home
who need me just as much
And are you wrong to give your love (YES!!!)
to a married man
And am I wrong trying to hold on
to the best thing I ever had (YES, YES, a THOUSAND times YES!!!!)
If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right
If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right

Are you wrong to give your love
to a married man
And am I wrong trying to hold on
to the best thing I ever had (it's like he's reading my mind AND answering his own question!!!)
If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right
If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right (blah, blah, I'm cheating more, blah blah)

Honestly, with songs like this going as far back at the 70's, it's no wonder that people have gotten the idea that "baby daddys" are par for the course!

On the UP side (the UP side of marital discord & infidelity...LOL), songs like this really make you understand and appreciate the lines to Thin Line Between Love and Hate (which, BTW, are kinda hard to find ever since The Pretenders redid it...look for The PERSUADERS, the original group). It begins with some cheating:

It's a thin line, it's 5 o'clock in the morning
And I'm just getting in, I knock on the door
A voice sweet and low says, who is it?
She opens up the door and lets me in
Never do she once say, sir, where have you been?
No, she says, are you hungry?
Are you hungry, honey? Did you eat yet?
Let me hang up your coat, your coat, your coat
And the woman tells me, pass me your hat too
All the time she smiles, never once raises her voice
It's 5 o'clock in the morning
And I don't give it a second thought

It's a thin line between love and hate..

And ends with:

The sweetest woman in the world
Can be the meanest woman in the world
If you make her that way, you keep on hurting her
She keeps being quiet
She might be holding something inside
That really really hurt you one day

Here I am laying in the hospital
Bandaged from feet to head
Ya see I'm in the state of shock
Just that much from being dead
I didn't think my woman could do something like this to me
I didn't think she had the nerve, so here I am
I guess action speaks louder than words

Don't even have to EXPLAIN that one! ;-)

So, what have we learned? Ummm...that cheatin' songs have great and memorable melodies? That the 70's were a time of serious social change, shag carpeting and some "hittin' that"? Or that you can pretty much make a song out of ANYTHING?

Let's go with all three!