Today's Decomp: Songs That Aren't About What You Think!

     So, I've got my iTunes on shuffle and all the sudden, "Shannon" by Henry Gross comes on. If you don't know what this song is about, then I won't spoil it for you until later in this post, but suffice to say that it is NOT about some girl named Shannon. That's when I started thinking about a TON of songs that have back stories you just NEVER would have guessed, or they're about something deeper than what the lyrics betray. I'll post videos with the lyrics, but make sure you actually listen to the words first, decide what you think the song's about and then I'll tell you at the end. 

So, with that, let the spoilers begin!

Shannon by Henry Gross

One of those mopey 70's songs that are a guilty pleasure for those of us born in the late 60's to early 70's (lyrics courtesy of www.oldielyrics.com):

Another day's at end
Mama says she's tired again
No one can even begin to tell her
I hardly know what to say
But maybe it's better that way
If Pop-pa were here I'm sure he'd tell her

Shannon, is gone I heard
She's drifting out to sea
She always loved to swim away
Maybe she'll find an island with a shaded tree
Just like the one in our backyard

Mama tries hard to pretend
That things will get better again
Somehow she's keepin' it all inside her
But finally the tears fill our eyes
And I know that somewhere tonight
She knows how much we really miss her

Shannon, is gone I heard
She's drifting out to sea
She always loved to swim away
Maybe she'll find an island
With a shaded tree
Just like the one in our back yard
Ah, just like the one in our back yard
Ah....
Just like the one in our back yard

Ben by Michael Jackson

Another mopey 70's tune. More people know what this one is about, but still worth adding (bonus points for having seen this movie and its prequel, "Willard"!) The lyrics are already listed, so I won't post them.

I Don't Like Mondays by Boomtown Rats

Okay, once I looked at the lyrics, I realized they really ARE about what they say they are. As a kid, though, I never knew ALL the words or the backstory, so I just sang the bridge and chorus in complete oblivion:

Beds Are Burning by Midnight Oil

This 80's tune has PIECES of what it COULD relate to in it, but if you understood this tune out of the gate without any help from Casey Kasem (or Wikipedia now!), then you get a medal for...smart music lyric-ky-ness...that I just made up:

Black Bird by The Beatles

A mellow little Beatles tune that always makes me smile:

Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison

A favorite tune from the 60's:

Hello I Love You by The Doors

A song by The Doors that gives just one line that hints at what the song is truly about:

You Light Up My Life by Debbie Boone

The 70's were incredibly prolific for these sweet love songs!

Let My Love Open the Door by Pete Townshend

This was an early 80's tune that's made a big comeback, now that all the Saturday Night Live alumni-turned-actors are in their 40's:

So, got all those in mind? Understood the meaning behind them (or think you know?). Great! Let's match up what you think with the truth and see how close you were! BTW, if you want to check out more songs and meanings, I usually use Songfacts.com for lyrics, meanings, etc.


Shannon: It's about a dead DOG. Seriously. And more specifically, it's about Beach Boy Carl Wilson's dead Irish Setter. Henry Gross wrote it as a tribute. Not much more to that, really!

Ben: It's about a RAT and is actually the theme song to the movie of the same name. Ben and Socrates were two rats from the 1971 movie "Willard" in which this meek guy (Willard) ends up getting some rat friends who help him face his problems. Eventually this gets out of hand and Willard regrets having these rat buddies a little too late. "Ben" is the 1972 sequel in which Ben goes elsewhere and befriends a kid who's also not having the best life.

Ben and his rat horde help this kid, too, but then the cops come to wipe all the sewer rats out and the kid has to get Ben to leave. I remember thinking the sewer looked like an awesome place to play when I saw this movie on TV...thank goodness I saw the drain scene from Now and Then before I tried it! Also, for those who like Crispin Glover, he apparently made a remake of Willard in 2003! On the DVD, he sings the song Ben with a rat that looks like a giant possum...no idea why all the hot chicks want the rat so bad, though:

I Don't Like Mondays: Unfortunately, this one is in response to a true story. On January 29, 1979, 16 year old Brenda Ann Spencer sat in her house with a rifle and opened fire on Grover Cleveland Elementary School across the street. She ended up wounding eight children who were waiting for the gate to open and killing both Principal Burton Wragg and custodian Mike Suchar (who tried to get Principal Wragg to safety after he'd been hit). The song title was part of her actual response when asked why she'd done it: "I don't like Mondays; this livens up the day." When the Boomtown Rats sing about seeing "no reasons, 'cause their ARE no reasons", they're actually saying the words we all feel (even now) about such senseless acts.

Beds Are Burning: This one is a protest song about giving back lands in Australia to the native Pintupi people. Like the Native Americans, they were forcibly moved from their homelands to settlements created by the government. The title line (which you hear in the lyric "how can we sleep when our beds are burning?") is essentially about the guilt the non-aboriginal people ought to be feeling about the treatment of the natives for the past 200+ years. The guys of Midnight Oil felt (and rightly so) that the Australian government should apologize and give them their land back (which the Prime Minister refused to do). They also performed this song at the closing ceremonies of the 2000 Olympics in Sydney while wearing all black with t-shirts that said "Sorry" on them.

Black Bird, Brown-Eyed Girl & Hello, I Love You: All about black girls! Remember that the 60's were a time of civil unrest. African Americans were fighting for equal rights and in many places in the US, interracial marriages were still against the law (strange to think I couldn't have been married to my soulmate because of a stupid law, but there it is). That didn't stop others from finding grace and beauty in those whose lives were embattled, but in the music business, that support was always coded so as not to upset radio stations (who could make or break the tune with airplay).

For the Beatles, the word "bird" is actually slang for "girl", so black bird refers to a black woman. Paul McCartney has been looking for ways to lyrical support civil rights in the US, so lines like "you were only waiting for this moment to arise" is symbolic of the long suffering that had finally become an outright protest against inequality. For The Doors, their song is about seeing a black girl walking along the beach and the only line that hints at who they mean is near the end "Do you hope to make her see you, fool? Do you hope to pluck this dusky jewel?" (dusky, of course, suggesting a darker color!). And finally, Van Morrison's hit was ORIGINALLY titled Brown SKINNED Girl, but was changed so that radio stations would actually play it (oddly enough, some would still ban it for the "making love in the green grass" line!).

You Light Up My Life & Let My Love Open the Door: Both songs about GOD but in a round about way. Debbie Boone's "You Light Up My Life" was originally a love song for the movie of the same name. Didi Conn (who'd later watch an angelic Frankie Valli descend from heaven while singing "Beauty School Dropout" in "Grease"), lip syncs the song in the movie. Later, Debby Boone decided it was more of an inspirational Christian tune and sang it to God instead.

With "Let My Love Open The Door", the connection is less direct. In the liner notes of the Townsend Gold CD, Townsend refers to this song as "Jesus sings", so quite a few folks have interpreted the "my love" part to be "God's love".

So, there's the songs and all the hidden stuff. If you have more that I don't know about, post them in the comments below. I LOVE hidden stuff!

Today's Decomp: Runaround Sue by Dion & the Belmonts

"Why is it that when I'm right in the middle of the Glee-induced flashmob, impressing kids with my skill on pink spangly speed quads while we sing Runaround Sue, I have to wake up to Tuesday morning???"

That was going to be my Facebook status Tuesday morning. I thought the better of it, but a total fluke of a coincidence today made me have to revisit this song. (oh, welcome back to my special brand of crazy, btw! Been a LONNNNNG while, but with school winding down for the year, I've got a little less fuzz in my brain and a LOT more pent-up snark in my commentary!) This particular decomp has more twists and turns than an MC Escher painting, so try to keep up!

So, here's the scenario: I'm on a field trip to a roller rink with a bunch of my old students, who're all around middle to high school age again. It's like a sort of farewell/graduation party provided by the school, but just for kids that have had me as a teacher. We get there and the kids all find their skates pretty quickly, but I spend most of the dream searching through walls of lockers and skate racks trying to find my size and style (old school quad speed skates, size 8.5). I FINALLY find the "right pair" which, contrary to my waking preferences, needed to be pink and spangled in a CLASSY sort of way...

Like these, but with the low cut speed boot so I look...uh, cool?

(I know, even my OWN brain did the record scratch sound for THAT one. I think I've kept my inner girly-girl imprisoned for so long that she's finally hijacking my dreams and using her Bedazzler all over my subconscious. On that note, I wonder if my whole tomboy vibe might be a natural defense mechanism; puff up into a sort of larger pseudo-male to ward off the more fashion conscious predatory female? But I digress...)

Anyway, I put them on and spin a little to test them out. As I come out of the spin, Runaround Sue by Dion and the Belmonts starts playing. Being in my 40's and relatively fit, I can't resist the chance to look like a rock star by showing a bunch of teenagers I can still "boogie down" on the skate floor. Clearly, I have not mastered the current teen vernacular for explaining it, but since I didn't say it out loud, I'm cool (or hot or phat or...something...).


(okay, here's where I stopped writing this blog and thought "Too bad I can't just SHOW people what I mean with the skating." Just for laughs, I thought I'd try and see if there WAS a video of someone doing some moves to Runaround Sue and found this...close enough!)


So, now I'm singing the song and dancing in the skate rental area. My street cred has dropped to subzero, but my cool old lady points are through the roof. The kids do what ALL people do when they're about to burst into a planned spontaneous activity...exchange glances of delighted amusement before jumping up to join me. I skate backwards singing to them, they skate toward me singing the right backup lines, we're all looking cool and harmonizing beautifully (hence the aforementioned Glee-induced flashmob).


This is probably what makes me realize I'm dreaming (I mean, seriously, what kid today actually KNOWS the words to Runaround Sue?) and thus forces my body to wake up. I'm disappointed that my music video has melted away to my normal Tuesday morning grog that I lay in bed and type the status you read above, but general malaise takes over and I decide to forget about it.

Cut to today, Saturday afternoon at home.

My addiction to this game is FRIGHTENING...

I've just found out that my busy weekend of doing a show at ComedySportz, participating in a charity softball tournament, and getting school & around the house stuff done has just been downsized by one event...the tourney's been postponed because of the rain. This means I don't have to cram everything I wanted to do for school and the house on Saturday, so I decide to relax and turn Pandora on the tv while playing a little Dungeon Rampage. I'm supposed to be hearing stuff that relates to Eric Carmen's "Never Gonna Fall In Love Again" (hey, make fun of my need to impress teenagers, but don't drag my soft rock of the 70's into your petty mockery!), but Pandora has been really strange lately. Random stuff's been popping in, such as hearing AC/DC doing "Thunderstruck" right after Paul Davis sings "Do Right" and Queen doing "Another One Bites The Dust". I'm just about to change to another station when, out of the blue, Pandora takes a running leap into 1961 to play (...wait for it....) Runaround Sue.


You see what's happening, right? It's totally obvious! Dion DiMucci is secretly using his powers as a former teen idol to channel through me. I'm not sure why he'd pick someone who's his polar opposite as his conduit, nor do I have any idea of what his message to the world is, but the lyrics are simple enough:

Here's my story, sad but true
It's about a girl that I once knew
She took my love then ran around
With every single guy in town
Ah, I should have known it from the very start
This girl would leave me with a broken heart
Now listen people what I'm telling you
A-keep away from-a Runaround Sue
I miss her lips and the smile on her face
The touch of her hand and this girl's warm embrace
So if you don't wanna cry like I do
A-keep away from-a Runaround Sue


Ah, she likes to travel around
She'll love you and she'll put you down
Now people let me put you wise
Sue goes out with other guys
Here's the moral and the story from the guy who knows
I fell in love and my love still grows
Ask any fool that she ever knew, they'll say
Keep away from-a Runaround Sue


She likes to travel around
She'll love you but she'll put you down
Now people let me put you wise
She goes out with other guys
Here's the moral and the story from the guy who knows
I fell in love and my love still grows
Ask any fool that she ever knew, they'll say
Keep away from-a Runaround Sue

Dion...Doofenshmirtz...both begin with D!

So our hero, Dion, falls for a troublesome strumpet in bobby sox, has his heart broken by said strumpet, then warns other young men of her wanton behavior lest they suffer the same dehumanizing fate (Being associated with a girl who goes on DATES? With other MEN? The very IDEA!). Seems pretty straightforward, right? But perhaps there's a DIFFERENT story, a peevish underbelly to this simple precautionary tale of a song that the great Dion himself may not even have come to terms with. My newfound Harry Potter-esque connection with this rock & roll era Voldemort may provide us all with some valuable insight (if you expand your definition of "valuable" to include things that are the exact OPPOSITE, that is). Try this on for size:

Dion and his buddies from Belmont Avenue have known Sue since their childhood days. They all  hung out doing the kinds of wholesome things required of any redblooded American kid back then: playing stickball, catching frogs, shooting marbles, singing on streetcorners, and posing for Norman Rockwell paintings. Unlike other girls, with their jacks, dolls and hula hoops, Sue is the original tomboy who loves to climb trees, wrestle in the dirt, and wear jeans rolled up to the knee and boy's shirts rolled to the elbow. She's just about the best at everything she does because she's constantly proving herself to the boys (who, again, adore her for it).

Yeah...THAT plane ride. :-(

As they get older, Dion starts his singing career (something a boy with the name of Dion almost HAS to do, or be teased for the rest of his life). He talks some of the neighborhood boys into joining him, but despite Sue's amazing singing voice, she can't go because nice girls aren't allowed to sing outside of church yet. After signing with a record company and getting on American Bandstand. The now famous Belmonts live the wild and crazy life of teen pop idols. This whirlwind of popularity eventually leads to the infamous Winter Dance Party tour, where one frosty night, Dion chooses not to pay the outrageous price of $36 for a plane ride to the next tour stop in Moorhead, MI. In doing so, he avoids the deadly fate of the OTHER headliners on this same tour.

Suddenly, he realizes the importance of life and family and those pictures of boys and girls sipping the same ice cream soda with two straws and BAM! he remembers that SUE is a girl, and right now, he'd REALLY like a chance to wrestle in the dirt with her...! Filled with newly discovered love for his old friend, he rushes home to Brooklyn by bus to pour his heart out to her. He's exhausted after hours on the road, but he immediately goes to see Sue (who's now progressed from beating the neighborhood boys at everything into training to become the world's first female decathlete). He asks her out and she agrees, thrilled to have her ol' pal Dion back.

Okay, so not exactly diner friendly, but stick with me on this one!

All night, the two catch up, but Dion's weak attempts to tell her in words how he feels are either misinterpreted or misheard (great singer, but not much of a smooth talker, our Dion). Sue knows he's pretty tired and they've both grown up a lot, but right before they head home, she can't resist challenging him to a contest in SOMETHING. She notices a brand new game called Spacewar! (1962's version of Halo Wars, which was conceived of in 1961 and only available on a PDP-1 in the Electrical Engineering Department at MIT, but for the sake of this wildly probable love story, was being pretested at the diner, right next to the jukebox on Belmont Avenue in Brooklyn). Dion agrees, and Sue  proceeds to do what she's always done...spank him soundly and jokingly taunt his abilities.

"Man, I love you, Dion!" she says, causing his heart to soar! She HAS heard his heart's cries and she feels the same way about him! He's trying to figure out if he can get a nice engagement ring with the $36 he's already got conveniently saved, until she adds. "You GOTTA love a guy who'll get creamed by missile fire that easily!" Dion's already shattered manhood is even further decimated by her playful laughter; once the music that his soul sang to, now it is the dirge that makes him long for the cold emptiness of the Winter Dance Party tour bus. So, as the night ends with her saying, "Well, I gotta run, Dion...early morning for the 10k tomorrow. See ya around, though, okay?", he waits until she's out of earshot before mumbling the toughest words his traumatized ego can muster, "Yeah, you BETTER run...around....Sue."

Disgusted with himself and Sues everywhere, he storms back to the tour bus, barely holding back his tears as he scribbles the lyrics to his shame in the backseat. The song is recorded and the passion he pours into singing in sends the song to the top of the charts. That, along with Johnny Cash and Shel Silverstein's combined lyrical efforts) effectively ruins the name Sue for both genders and forces nearly two generations of girls named Susanna into the use of their God given (and not easily sewn onto a Pink Lady jacket) first names instead of the once proud, but now sullied nickname.

Sue, being fully absorbed into her training regime, never even hears the song. She sometimes misses her friend Dion and wonders if there ever could have been anything between them, but since he never told her his feelings, she assumes that a strong female figure is too much for the world to take. She hopes to change this in the 1964 Olympic Games but sadly, the Olympic committee chooses to introduce the women's pentathlon instead (women's decathlon will not become an event until 2000). Having practiced 10 events for so long, Sue is told that she is overqualified and is turned away at the qualifiers. Having no prospects for her future, Sue continues to run and one day, disappears forever, never to be heard from again (like a Helen Reddy tune, but without anyone going crazy or ending up in a radio).

(pauses to pant for breath and to follow her tangent backward...)

No one has hair this perfect without something to hide...

Note the evil black hat, shades, and facial hair?

So...Dion DiMucci. Blameless teen idol victimized by a heartless wench? Or insecure pop singer who has spent the bulk of his 70+ years on this earth besmirching the honor of or indirectly driving talented young woman to run themselves into oblivion striving for a goal 50 years beyond their reach (or more recently, using his latent 50s teen idol powers to channel honey bunches of crazy into a poor 5th grade teacher's snarky musical commentary blog)?

Although...

...come to think of it...

...both "Never Gonna Fall In Love Again" and "Runaround Sue" ARE songs about guys that have bad relationships with a woman.

Guess Pandora might have connected them for that reason....huh...

(longer pause to try and recover lost sanity)

Well...

...Dion is still probably...y'know...with the mind control stuff...

...so...this isn't just a CRAZY MADE UP RANT, ha, ha, ha...!

The (living a RICH fantasy life, despite all attempts that sanity keeps making to creep back in) Sprite

Today's Decomp: Guilty Pleasures (aka Crap I LIKE!)

So, normally, I spent this blog time like Bizzaro Mr. Rogers, making you feel bad about yourselves and things you probably really LOVE (mainly MUSIC). So today, it's all about stuff I KNOW sucks, but I really love. Rather than give you all the lyrics, I'm gonna tell you some favorites, then post links to the You Tube video (when possible) so you can watch, point, and laugh at my expense...yay, internet!

So, in no particular order:

Rappin' Duke by Shawn Brown
Favorite line: I don't bother nobody, I'm a real nice guy; Kinda...laid back like a...dead fly. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfUSIerJ-8c&feature=related
Reason I love it: 'Cause it's just SOOOO stupid! It's John Wayne RAPPING (okay, not REALLY him, but STILL)! The concept just sells itself into Stupidtown!

Muskrat Love by Captain and Tennille http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBYV_7a0FQs
Favorite line: Now he's ticklin' her fancy, rubbing her toes. Muzzle to muzzle, now anything goes as they wriggle. Sue starts to giggle (electronic giggle sounds)
Reason I love it: We've all gotta admit that we liked those groups that had their own shows, like Sonny & Cher, Starland Vocal Band (still cagey about that one) and Captain & Tennille. My father loved them, too, but he REALLY loved this song! We'd listen to it on our trips to Florida in our van to my grandparents' homes, but the BEST part was at the VERY end (the part you don't hear on the radio). My dad would crank it up and the sound of the beat would be the only thing left from the song...then suddenly it would fade a touch, then turn into the sound of hoofbeats that ran from one side of the van speakers to the other. And Dad would softly say "There they go!" and we'd grin, having heard Susie and Sam ride off into the sunset (sigh). Now I wanna call my daddy (pout!)

Spice Up Your Life by the Spice Girls
Favorite line: Colors of the world (spice up ya life), every boy and every girl (spice up your life), people of the world (spice up ya life) Ahhhhhhhh... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFAjBN5zuF8
Reason I love it: Because it's so classy and serene and...(snorts with laughter)...wooo! Almost said that with a straight face! Alright, it's just plain FUN! I like that pseudo-world bazaar sound in the background and all the general jumping around that makes it sound like some futuristic kind of kung fu movie. Frankly, despite their meteoric rise and fall, I'm not ashamed to admit I liked the Spice Girls in general, flavor of the month or not. Sadly enough, I can no longer slam it to the left, and when I shake it to the right, I can't always get it back to the center again (and Lord knows none of you want to see want happens when my chicas are in the FRONT and go 'round!) (Note: after I got married, I DID find out what "zig-a-zig-AHHH" was...chica-wow-wow!)

Bubba Shot the Jukebox by Mark Chestnutt
Favorite line: Well the sheriff arrived with his bathrobe on, the confrontation was a tense one. Shook his head and said "Bubba Boy, you always was a dense one. Reckless discharge of a gun, that's what the officers are claimin'!" Bubba hollered out "Reckless, hell! I hit just where I was aimin'!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VKdwx5AB5k
Reason I love it: It's got the name BUBBA in it! Plus, an intriguing storyline about life in a Southern town, not unlike "The Night That the Lights Went Out In Georgia", another favorite. Boy, if I had a dollar for every factual thing I ever learned about Southern living from music, I'd be...well, I'd owe SOMEBODY a buttload o'cash. On this note (and this is just pure D shameful, here...)

Boot Scootin' Boogie by Brooks & Dunn
Favorite line: Heel, toe, do-si-do, c'mon baby let's GOOO boot scootin'! Cadillac blackjack, baby meet me out back, we're gonna boogie. Git down, turn around, go to town, boot scootin' boo-gieeeee (the version of the song I like has no video, so...meh!)
Reason I love it: People, if I knew WHY I liked it, it wouldn't SUCK any more! LOL Suffice to say that I am actually a closet fan of hontytonk/rockabilly music, as well as REALLY old country stuff. Steel guitars give me a warm friendly feeling and Hank Williams Sr.'s yodel just gets me teary-eyed. My dad was born in Alabama and despite living through all of the 50s and 60s, STILL loves country music. It's just in my blood, I guess (or maybe it was that DURN HEE-HAW...CURSE you, Opryland!) Again, on that note...

Anything by Kenny Rogers
Favorite line: (from my current favorite song) Well, it's your mind that tricks you into leaving every time, love will turn you around, turn your around. Well, it's your heart that talks you into staying where you are. (Note: This didn't have a real video outside of tv appearances, but this guy made one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHttuCdfoGw&feature=related)
Reason I love him: Shut UP, man! He's the GAMBLER! He's Kenny Frickin' Rogers! Stop that LAUGHING!!! Currently, Love Will Turn You Around is my favorite, but sometimes it's What Are We Doing In Love, Lucille, Ruby Don't Take Your Love To Town...hmm...hokey love ballad pattern??? On THAT note...

Muzak
Favorite line: Bahhh-bummmm-ba-DUMMMM! Bah-bah-bah-BUMMM-bah-DUMMM...
Reason I love it: Strange as it may seem, this music reminds me of Sundays after church when I was young. Before my parents moved on to Smooth Jazz, we listened to stuff like Les Baxter & His Orchestra doing "The Poor People In Paris", various groups doing Harlem Nocturne, or one of my favorites, the song above (bonus points for being able to guess it...think Omar Sharif!). The closest you can get to this now is 60's bachelor pad music.

More offenses to come!

Today's Decomp: Timothy by the Buoys

For you, KuKu...! :-)

Normally, I'd lead into this one with some witty repartee, but the words to this song are so blatant, I'm just going to come straight out with 'em:

Trapped in a mine what had caved in
And everyone knows the only ones left
Were Joe and me and Tim
When they broke through to pull us free
The only ones left to tell the tale
Was Joe and me

Timothy, Timothy
Where on earth did you go
Timothy, Timothy
God, why don't I know

Hungry as hell no food to eat
And Joe said that he would sell his soul
For just a piece of meat
Water enough to drink for two
And Joe said to me, I'll take a swig
And then there's some for you

So far all seems pretty normal, just your typical disaster song. People are on the verge of death and doing the hero rant, but the music's all upbeat and jolly.

Timothy, Timothy
Joe was looking at you
Timothy, Timothy
God, what did we do

I must've blacked out just 'bout then
'Cause the very next thing that I could see
Was the light of the day again
My stomach was full as it could be
And nobody ever got around
To finding Timothy

Timothy, Timothy
Where on earth did you go
Timothy, Timothy
God, why don't I know

Timothy, yeah
Timothy
Timothy, yeah
Timothy

Wow.

There's just...no words.

Okay, SOME words...

Ho-ly Chicken Substitutes, Batman, it's like the Donner Party Goes To West Virginia! There's just not a whole lot of guesswork here, is there? We've got Joe eyeing Timothy up like he's a walking NY strip, the narrator having selective amnesia as he pats his belly, burps and picks his teeth...I mean, you have to READ into Helen Reddy songs (maybe it's MAGIC that the kid's in the radio, maybe it's weird SCIENCE), but this one basically says "Yep, we ate him...so, who's for ice cream?" And, despite the record label's insistence, Timothy was NOT a mule, according to songwriter Rupert Holmes (who graduated from this song to cheating on his woman with girls that like pina coladas http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=2005).

Even more disturbing is that the folks who finally RESCUE these cannibals ask NO questions, like "Sooooo, where's that dude that was with you...and whose gnawed femur is this?" or "Which one of you ordered the Tim tartare?" In 1971, you'd think there'd have at LEAST been some kind of psuedo-CSI action going, dusting for fingerprints in the coal dust, making chalk marks around the...uh, missing body...

Alright, well, STILL, justice was NOT served for poor Timothy (HE was)!

The (sticking to veggies for a while) Sprite & the (taking seconds on Timbits) Highlander

Today's Decomp: Angie Baby by Helen Reddy

I should come right out now and say that I LOVE Helen Reddy and not just her popular stuff. I even dig Ruby Red Dress and Keep On Singing and all that obscure crap. So, anyone about to try and lay waste to me over this, understand that I have embraced my inner old fart and sing "Delta Dawn" in your general direction (I also still like Afternoon Delight, but I'm a bit more cagey about that!).

Anyway, this decomp is getting airplay because, once again, the Highlander and I have renewed an age old debate about what this song is REALLY about. As the female counterpart in this relationship, I'm ALWAYS right, but actually PROVING myself thus is harder than it seems. Here's the lyrics for those of you that are younger than most of my socks:

You live your life in the songs you hear
on the rock and roll radio
and when a young girl doesn't have any friends
thats a really nice place to go
folks hoping you'd turn out cool
but they had to take you out of school
you're a little touched you know
angie baby

lovers appear in your room each night
and they whirl you across the floor
but they always seem to fade away
when your daddy taps on your door
"angie girl, are you alright?
tell the radio goodnight."
all alone once more angie baby

Chorus
angie baby
you're a special lady
living in a world of make believe
well maybe

stopping at her house is a neighbor boy
with evil on his mind
cos he's been peeking in angie's room
at the night through her window blind
I see your folks have gone away
would you dance with me today
I'll show you how to have a good time
angie baby

( angie baby ) (angie baby )

when he walks in the room
he feels confused
like he walked into a play
and the music's so loud
it spins him around
till his soul has lost it's way
and as she turns the volume down
he's getting smaller with the sound
it seems to pull him off the ground
toward the radio he's bound
never to be found

the headlines read that a boy disappeared
and everyone thinks he died
'cept a crazy girl with a secret lover
who keeps her satisfied
it's so nice to be insane
no one asked you to explain
radio by your side
angie baby

Chorus
angie baby
you're a special lady
living in a world of make believe
well maybe
well maybe
well maybe

well maybe

Everyone with me so far? So, let's explore MY possible scenarios before delving into the abyss that's the Highlander's insanity, shall we?

A. Angie is some sort of witch-chick that pretends to be crazy to lure horny young men into her room and suck them into the radio she's enchanted.

B. Angie IS crazy, which has her tapped into some other part of her brain, allowing her to use mind powers to suck horny young men into her radio.

C. Angie's just some shy girl that happens to have a magic radio that traps horny young men.

Note that all of my scenarios basically have these boys being trapped in the radio, either as sound waves or as really tiny guys, not unlike the Jackson 5ive in their cartoon, when that dude got them all in this giant radio, then shrunk them down so he could listen to them all the time...but I digress...

When you grow up in separate households with separate lives and ways of dealing with the world around you, your take on certain things will vary slightly from those you love. With that in mind, at some point, you'll end up sitting and chatting in the car one day about things like songs lyrics and finding out that your spouse thought "I'd like to hear some funky Dixieland, pretty momma come and take me by the hand" from the Doobie Brothers' "Black Water" was actually "I'd like to hear some funky Dixie Lamprey, momma come and take me by the hand" and you LAUGH and say, "Oh, what a delightfully silly idea, my love...let us retreat to the boudoir for cakes and pillow talk."

And THEN there's moments where you're driving down the road listening to JACK FM and your spouse says casually, "You know that girl Angie just CHOPS THE DUDES UP and STUFFS THEM INTO THE RADIO, right?", leaving you to stare in awed silence, mostly contemplating the colossal error you made with your life back in the summer of 99 for about 45 minutes in a pretty white dress front of a preacher, God and several innocent witnesses who had NO IDEA of the HORROR contained within the layers of rental tuxedo...!

Seriously, does anyone else BUY this? Where in heaven's name does one get a CSI scene out of a Helen Reddy tune??? I keep trying to figure this out, but the Highlander is dead set on believing this (or seems to be just to tease me) and never even entertained the thought of supernatural stuff until I mentioned it to him. And, of course, goofy me will always entertain ANY thought given me until my brain goes, "Okay, who even put this crap on my DESK, huh?"

So, you be the judge. Supernatural body snatching or unsolved murder case? Remember, I'm the GIRL, so you have to side with ME, not HIM.

The (about to go turn her radio up) Sprite & the (looking for ways to make the inside of a radio look more spacious) Highlander

P.S.--Heck, even the writer, Alan O'Day, has got my back...check this article out here: http://www.jpfolks.com/Mentors/Articles/odayangiebaby.html

Today's Decomp: 70's R & B Cheatin' Songs

Somewhere in the 70's, there was a popular movement in R & B toward the "cheatin' on my baby" song. I think this crossed over into country music, too, but somehow, R & B made it sound so good, you ALMOST felt bad for the perpetrators. Still, as a young black girl, I can still remember listening to these songs and thinking "Shouldn't that man be at home saying sorry to his wife before she kicks him in his thine line or MR. Jones shows up???" In fact, my mom and I had this kind of conversation once before, too. I asked her what would happen if Dad did one of those "Me & Mrs. Jones" things. Her reply has probably been the guiding force behind her 39 years of marriage and my own 9:

"I trust and love your father enough to know he would never do that to me. (long quiet pause) He loves life and living it FAR too much."

Anyway, I was going to do the song Kiss & Say Goodbye, but then I remembered (If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don't Wanna Be Right, Me & Mrs. Jones and the best retaliation song, Thin Line Between Love And Hate. I'm gonna decompose these songs one a few lines at a time so you get the full effect of this delightful romp through hypocrisy (my comments are in italics).

Kiss And Say Goodbye (If you want to hear this tune, you can listen and read the lyrics here: http://www.minibite.com/heartache/kissandsay.htm)

This has got to be the saddest day of my life (probably shoulda thought of this BEFORE your wedding, huh?)
I called you here today for a bit of bad news
I won't be able to see you anymore
Because of my obligations, and the ties that you have (She's NOT your obligation, she's your WIFE, cheater pants!)
We've been meeting here everyday
And since this is our last day together
I wanna hold you just one more time (yeah, great way to sever the ties, here!)
When you turn and walk away, don't look back (exactly! No looking back, let's move forward to fidelity and several years of marital therapy, shall we?)
I wanna remember you just like this (as a cheating !@#$)
Let's just kiss and say goodbye

I had to meet you here today
There's just so many things to say
Please don't stop me 'til I'm through
This is something I hate to do (there's so much wrong this with, I don't even know where to START. You hate LEAVING the woman you're cheating with to go back to the woman who you promised to love, honor and cherish until death? I really have to call into question this man's decision making skills....!)
We've been meeting here so long
I guess what we've done, oh was wrong (you GUESS??? Oh, man...I wanna be the one who hands your wife the hot grits!)
Please darlin', don't you cry
Let's just kiss and say goodbye (Goodbye!)

Many months have passed us by
(I'm gonna miss you)
I'm gonna miss you, I can't lie
(I'm gonna miss you) (And it just goes on from THERE like this...hate leaving the woman I'm cheatin' with, guess I better haul it back on home to the wife (deep sigh))

Okay for those of you either living under a rock, or born after the decline of the cassette tape and vinyl album, I'll give you the most important lines from another cheatin' standard:

Me & Mrs. Jones (the title "Mrs." should be a big tip-off right here!)

(Chorus) Me and Mrs.Jones
We got a thing goin' on
We both know that it's wrong
But it's much too strong
To let it go now

We meet every day at the same cafe
Six-thirty and no one knows she'll be there
Holding hands, making all kinds of plans
While the juke box plays our favorite songs

(Chorus)

We gotta be extra careful
That do we don't build our hopes up too high
Because she's got her own obligations
And so, and so, do I

(Chorus)

Well, it's time for us to be leaving
It hurts so much, it hurts so much inside
Now she'll go her way and I'll go mine
Tomorrow we'll meet
The same place, the same time

(Chorus)

Okay does NO ONE see how shag nastily WRONG this is??? IT'S CHEATING ON YOUR SPOUSE, for cryin' out loud! And these two aren't even gonna STOP! They're meeting at the same place and time tomorrow! And honestly, who DOESN'T sing along with this one? Oh, MAN, can music twist your around its little finger (otherwise, why ELSE would any woman find Tommy Lee, Slash, Lionel Ritchie or Seal attractive?)!

And this last one this one is TRULY bad...this guy doesn't even CARE that he's ruining this girl's life and reputation, just wants desperately to do the WRONG thing:


(If Loving You is Wrong) I Don't Want To Be Right

If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right
If being right means being without you
I'd rather live a wrong doing life (hmmm...who can this be...SATAN???)
Your mama and daddy say it's a shame
It's a downright disgrace (well, only because it IS!!)
Long as I got you by my side
I don't care what your people say (selfish son of a !@#$)

Your friends tell you there's no future
in loving a married man (FINALLY, some friends leading someone in the RIGHT direction!)
If I can't see you when I want to
I'll see you when I can
If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right
If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right

Am I wrong to fall so deeply in love with you (yes!!!)
knowing I got a wife and two little children
depending on me too
And am I wrong to hunger
for the gentleness of your touch (YES!)
knowing I got three people at home
who need me just as much
And are you wrong to give your love (YES!!!)
to a married man
And am I wrong trying to hold on
to the best thing I ever had (YES, YES, a THOUSAND times YES!!!!)
If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right
If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right

Are you wrong to give your love
to a married man
And am I wrong trying to hold on
to the best thing I ever had (it's like he's reading my mind AND answering his own question!!!)
If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right
If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right (blah, blah, I'm cheating more, blah blah)

Honestly, with songs like this going as far back at the 70's, it's no wonder that people have gotten the idea that "baby daddys" are par for the course!

On the UP side (the UP side of marital discord & infidelity...LOL), songs like this really make you understand and appreciate the lines to Thin Line Between Love and Hate (which, BTW, are kinda hard to find ever since The Pretenders redid it...look for The PERSUADERS, the original group). It begins with some cheating:

It's a thin line, it's 5 o'clock in the morning
And I'm just getting in, I knock on the door
A voice sweet and low says, who is it?
She opens up the door and lets me in
Never do she once say, sir, where have you been?
No, she says, are you hungry?
Are you hungry, honey? Did you eat yet?
Let me hang up your coat, your coat, your coat
And the woman tells me, pass me your hat too
All the time she smiles, never once raises her voice
It's 5 o'clock in the morning
And I don't give it a second thought

It's a thin line between love and hate..

And ends with:

The sweetest woman in the world
Can be the meanest woman in the world
If you make her that way, you keep on hurting her
She keeps being quiet
She might be holding something inside
That really really hurt you one day

Here I am laying in the hospital
Bandaged from feet to head
Ya see I'm in the state of shock
Just that much from being dead
I didn't think my woman could do something like this to me
I didn't think she had the nerve, so here I am
I guess action speaks louder than words

Don't even have to EXPLAIN that one! ;-)

So, what have we learned? Ummm...that cheatin' songs have great and memorable melodies? That the 70's were a time of serious social change, shag carpeting and some "hittin' that"? Or that you can pretty much make a song out of ANYTHING?

Let's go with all three!

Today's Decomp: In The End by Linkin Park

I would say "don't get me started on this song", but getting me started is PRETTY much what this blog is FOR, right?

Let me preface this commentary on the quintessential teen angst song of the 2000's by explaining what I was DOING about the time this song came out:

As an adult, teen angst on a string is something that one doesn't ever really think they'll have to deal with again until it rears its Tommy Hilfigered, baggy jeaned, "in" crowded, head-up-its-own-assed head in the middle of a group of normal high schoolers, causing them to erupt into screaming fits, storming-out fits, general hysterics and haughtily whispered snatches of conversation that usually include phrases like, "that BITCH", "if she thinks", "well, I heard from so-and-so that", "we better go talk to her in the bathroom" and my all time favorite, "she bet'not put her hand in MY face, 'cause I WILL beat her ass down!"

All this comes to a heightened point of necessary catharsis, the nexus for all emotional distress and teenage torment, a sort of end all, be all of emotional disturbance and mind boggling acts of insanity...

...the high school play.

My job in 2001? High school drama director.

Okay, I did do OTHER things, too, but THIS was the job that sucked the soul out of me while simultaneously making me feel as uplifted as if I had done some great service for the world (which is what watching kids be creative for a month or more ALWAYS does for me).

Anyway, this PARTICULAR song was out right in the middle of that school year, right around the time of the play itself. The kids were always bringing in stuff for me to listen to, so let me show you the lyrics so you, too, can be awash in pubescence:

It starts with
One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time

All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away

It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Or wasted it all just to watch you go

I kept everything inside
And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be
A memory of a time when

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter

One thing, I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how

I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised

It got so far
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me in the end

You kept everything inside
And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be
A memory of a time when

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter

Okay, aside from the pretty cool music, does anyone ELSE see this song as kinda whiny, in that teenage angst sorta way? I mean "Well, I tried, but it doesn't even MATTER, 'cause everything I do just SUCKS, so why even bother!" What's the new word for this...EMO, is it? (for those of you unfamiliar with the term, emo is the new word for goth kids, which was the new word for punk kids, which was the new word for...I dunno, greasers???)

I can't completely explain why this song gets under my skin, but I know from whence the original suffering comes from. I'm the eldest child in my family, so I was always the one responsible for everything. Once my brother got too old for my parents to do that "he's too young to know better" thing, I watched him run this "it doesn't matter, 'cause everything's always my fault and you're gonna blame me ANYWAY" game on my mom (Dad didn't buy that crap, since he knew the boy actually WAS guilty!) So, listening to someone whine about how they've done their best and in the end, it didn't matter, just seems like a GIANT cop out to me.

When I was a kid, if at first you didn't succeed, you tried, tried again. You didn't just sit and wallow in your own crapulence. Admittedly, the boys from Linkin Park have SORT of moved on in the song:

Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me in the end

But, why go back to whining about how hard you tried and how it didn't matter again? And worse yet, if you're REALLY beyond this chick (assuming chick since it's a guy band), then why exercise your constitutional right to piss and moan over a chick that totally destroyed your independence and self worth in the first place?

Suck it up, find a new girlfriend, and stop singing songs about how life sucks, emo boy (like that nice Alanis Morrissette did...oh, wait...!)