For you, KuKu...! :-)
Normally, I'd lead into this one with some witty repartee, but the words to this song are so blatant, I'm just going to come straight out with 'em:
Trapped in a mine what had caved in
And everyone knows the only ones left
Were Joe and me and Tim
When they broke through to pull us free
The only ones left to tell the tale
Was Joe and me
Timothy, Timothy
Where on earth did you go
Timothy, Timothy
God, why don't I know
Hungry as hell no food to eat
And Joe said that he would sell his soul
For just a piece of meat
Water enough to drink for two
And Joe said to me, I'll take a swig
And then there's some for you
So far all seems pretty normal, just your typical disaster song. People are on the verge of death and doing the hero rant, but the music's all upbeat and jolly.
Timothy, Timothy
Joe was looking at you
Timothy, Timothy
God, what did we do
I must've blacked out just 'bout then
'Cause the very next thing that I could see
Was the light of the day again
My stomach was full as it could be
And nobody ever got around
To finding Timothy
Timothy, Timothy
Where on earth did you go
Timothy, Timothy
God, why don't I know
Timothy, yeah
Timothy
Timothy, yeah
Timothy
Wow.
There's just...no words.
Okay, SOME words...
Ho-ly Chicken Substitutes, Batman, it's like the Donner Party Goes To West Virginia! There's just not a whole lot of guesswork here, is there? We've got Joe eyeing Timothy up like he's a walking NY strip, the narrator having selective amnesia as he pats his belly, burps and picks his teeth...I mean, you have to READ into Helen Reddy songs (maybe it's MAGIC that the kid's in the radio, maybe it's weird SCIENCE), but this one basically says "Yep, we ate him...so, who's for ice cream?" And, despite the record label's insistence, Timothy was NOT a mule, according to songwriter Rupert Holmes (who graduated from this song to cheating on his woman with girls that like pina coladas http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=2005).
Even more disturbing is that the folks who finally RESCUE these cannibals ask NO questions, like "Sooooo, where's that dude that was with you...and whose gnawed femur is this?" or "Which one of you ordered the Tim tartare?" In 1971, you'd think there'd have at LEAST been some kind of psuedo-CSI action going, dusting for fingerprints in the coal dust, making chalk marks around the...uh, missing body...
Alright, well, STILL, justice was NOT served for poor Timothy (HE was)!
The (sticking to veggies for a while) Sprite & the (taking seconds on Timbits) Highlander
